He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
