when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
