I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
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I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Boobs speak an international language.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
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You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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