What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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