About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
