So drunk its hurt
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Randomize
