I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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