If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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