What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize