So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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