Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I could have mohawked her pubes.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
