So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
