You can't motorboat a personality
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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