He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
