Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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