Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
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I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
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I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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