do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
