..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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