We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
