tell your sister to shave her snatch
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
