Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i think i have two assholes
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
