my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
