its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Every concussion has its silver lining
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
my liver is dry heaving
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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