I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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