just come out here and I will go home with you...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Your cock deserves a montage
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
