see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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