Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
