those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
