So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize