yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
