My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
