I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize