She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
