Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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