am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
