Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
