The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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