i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
