I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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