Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize