ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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