fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
do nipples grow back?
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