did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
