I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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