Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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