Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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