I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize