i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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