Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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