Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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