my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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