R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
