Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
