tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
