I just pynch a tree in the face
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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