she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
