i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I have tasted many bathrooms
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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