how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
