That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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