I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
