last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
do nipples grow back?
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