11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
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