can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
