you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
