Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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