Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize